Are You Looking at Me? Overcoming Social Anxiety
When you attend a social gathering, does your heart race? Do you avoid social situations because you’re afraid that people are looking and judging you? You’re not alone. Social anxiety can make every day interactions seem overwhelming but that’s not an excuse to become a hermit. Instead, learn how to manage your anxiety so that you can enjoy yourself at social activities.
Understanding Social Anxiety
Approximately 12% of US adults and 33% of teens experience social anxiety. It’s believed to be underdiagnosed and undertreated became many people who struggle with it do not seek help. And that’s easy to do in today’s society. With the advancement of technology, you can order groceries online and have them delivered to your doorstep. Entertainment and anonymous interaction with people online are as simple as unlocking your phone or computer.
Social anxiety involves a fear of situations with unfamiliar people and where a person is afraid that they may act in a way that is embarrassing and humiliating. This can look like a fear of interacting with strangers, worrying about drawing attention to themselves and avoiding speaking in public. It can be debilitating but you can manage it.
Managing Social Anxiety
It’s important to find ways to manage your social anxiety. Here are some suggestions.
1. Calm Your Nervous System
As with other types of anxiety, social anxiety also has physical symptoms like increased heart rate, sweating and difficulty breathing. Therefore, it is important to manage your body’s fight, flight or freeze response. Ways to do this are through deep breathing, shaking it out or progressive muscle relaxation. A simple deep breathing exercise to calm your nervous system is to inhale through your nose for three seconds and exhale slowly through your mouth for three to six seconds. Repeat this until your feel more relaxed. Once you feel calmer, you can start to focus on your maladaptive thoughts around social engagements.
2. Challenge Your Thoughts
Since social anxiety involves the fear of being looked at and judged by others, which can be especially difficult during the teen years, it’s important to examine the thoughts you have about being looked out. One thing to realize is that people are so busy thinking about themselves that they don’t actually think too much about others. Therefore, it’s important to challenge those negative and maladaptive thoughts. Challenge these thoughts by asking yourself, what evidence is there that makes this thought true? The answer must be based on facts and not assumptions. Then ask, what evidence proves this thought is false? And finally, create a new thought based off the answers to these questions. By questioning your negative thoughts, you can start to see them as less intimidating and more manageable.
3. Gradually Expose Yourself
You may think avoiding social situations helps you but in actuality, it’s a temporary relief that makes it worse in the long run. In the moment you may feel good but the less exposure you have to social situations, the bigger the fear grows. As you gradually expose yourself to your fears, the less intimidated you’ll be. It may start by lifting your head and making eye contact to greeting a person and asking how their day is going. You can start with the cashier at the grocery store and proceed to small gatherings. As you progress, you’ll reduce your anxiety and build your confidence.
It won’t happen overnight but with practice and persistence, you can learn to manage your social anxiety. Sometimes, you’ll need additional support. Talking to with therapist can be helpful and Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is proved to be effective with social anxiety. Remember, you’re not alone and with the right help, you can start to enjoy social activities.