Life is a series of choices. From the moment you wake up to the time you go to bed, you are constantly making decisions. Some choices are minor, like what to wear or eat for breakfast, while others are major, shaping the course of your live. Understanding and embracing your choices means you are either moving towards or away from the person you want to be.
What Type of Person Do You Want to Be?
When people seek therapy, they are generally struggling in some way with their life. They may have strayed from the path that they thought they were going towards or they may not even know what path they want to take. In any case, it’s really about identifying who you want to be and gaining insight into your ideal self. Your ideal self is shaped by your values, dreams and goals. What traits, behaviors and roles do you want to have in your life? This will determine the choices you make. For example, if you come to therapy to work on your anxiety, then it probably means that the image of your ideal self is peaceful and calm.
Towards or Away Choices
Often time, you will encounter daily choices that will either take you towards or away from your ideal self. For example, if you want to work on your anxiety, you can choose to engage in activities that are soothing and relaxing or you can continue doing what unfortunately brought you into therapy. Your choices are not just about the behaviors you engage in but also what your mind is doing. Ruminating about your past or future, imaging different scenarios are all things that your mind is making a choice to do. With the anxiety example, it would look like ruminating on things that increase your anxiety. The question to ask yourself is, does this help you move towards or away from the life you want?
It's Decision Time
Choices are hard to make, especially if these choices have become habitual. What this means is that you don’t even realize your making these choices because it’s been so ingrained in you. Think about what hand you use to brush your teeth and next time you brush your teeth, use your other hand. More than likely, you’ll forget and revert back to the original hand because it’s an automatic habit you don’t even think about. Now, if you don’t brush your teeth at all, that’s just a whole different story.
Now it’s time to be a decision. Do you know the type of person you want to be? Most often people have an idea of who they don’t want to be and that’s a start but it’s more helpful to look at who they want to be. I encourage you to take some time to think about it, write it down and imagine what that looks like. Once you have that vision of your ideal self, the journey begins towards thinking and acting like your ideal self. If you don’t know how to do this or you’re struggling with this, contact me to learn how to make better choices.
Judy Wang, LCPC, CPC is a licensed clinical professional counselor in Nevada and Maryland. She provides telehealth therapy sessions to adolescents and adults struggling with OCD, anxiety and trauma.