You’re all too familiar with that feeling of anxiety that comes up as worry and stress when a situation arises. In order to deal with your anxiety, you practice avoidance. So now you find yourself scrolling through social media or watching the latest new “it” show to avoid feeling anxious but it’s only making things worse.
Avoidance in Anxiety
Avoidance is a popular and somewhat unconscious coping mechanism for people struggling with anxiety. Because avoidance is keeping you from confronting feelings of anxiety and what is causing the anxiety directly, the problem never really goes away. Avoidance may provide some short-term release from the anxiety but ultimately worsens your anxiety in the long run.
The Cycle of Avoidance and Anxiety
Avoidance and anxiety can become cyclical. You feel anxious – you do something to avoid the feelings of anxiety – the avoidance makes you feel better until the next time you feel anxious and the cycle continues. This means you haven’t grown or learned to move through the anxiety, missing out on an opportunity for growth. It also means that when you feel anxious in the future, the anxiety can become worse, possibly leading to an anxiety or panic attack.
Confront Your Fears
So, what can you do instead? In order to face the anxiety, you actually need to allow yourself to feel it. This can mean exposing yourself to little bits of anxiety at a time. As you do, you realize that you were able to get through the uncomfortable feeling and still be okay. This helps you to learn that you are able to manage these feelings and increase your confidence.
Develop Coping Strategies
It’s also important to develop coping strategies to manage your anxiety. Some strategies are deep (diaphragmic) breathing techniques, mindfulness practices and positive self-talk. Many times, anxiety can cause maladaptive negative self-talk that is not based on facts but assumptions. Asking yourself questions like “what proves this thought to be true?” and “what proves this thought to be false?” can help. However, your answers have to be based on actual evidence and not assumptions. This can lead you to a new positive adaptive thought and decrease your anxiety.
Seek Professional Support
There will be times when you will need more guidance and support to stop avoiding your anxiety and manage it. Therapists can help you overcome your avoidance and start building skills that are needed in managing your anxiety. Please contact me for more information on how this works.
Celebrate Progress and Persistence
It’s also important to give yourself credit on the progress you’ve made in confronting your fears and breaking free of your avoidant behaviors. No matter how small of an achievement, by celebrating it, you reinforce to yourself your abilities to overcome it. It also starts to rewire your brain to recognize the progress you’ve made.
As you move past avoidance and learn to deal with your anxiety, you will only grow stronger and develop the skills you need to move towards the life you’ve always wanted.
If you struggle with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), these steps may not work for you. Please contact me for further information
Judy Wang, LCPC, CPC works with individuals struggling to move beyond their trauma and control their anxiety and OCD. She offers online sessions in Maryland and Nevada.