Understanding Parental Anxiety
You are not alone. Approximately, 10-20% of parents experience significant levels of anxiety as a parent. If you tend to struggle with anxiety before children, you will most likely struggle with it even more as a parent. Although a certain level of anxiety that comes with parenting is common, parental anxiety is excessively worrying about your child’s safety. It can become difficult when anxiety starts to have a significant impact on your emotional and mental wellbeing.
Challenges of Parenting and Anxiety
You may become overprotective about your child’s safety and start avoiding certain situations because of those concerns. In addition, anxiety may arise as being a parent brings up unresolved issues from your own upbringing and past. This means that as you take care of your child, you’re also trying to manage your own emotions. This can develop into an inability to make a decision, a feeling of not only physical but mental and emotional exhaustion and a harsh negative inner critical voice.
Impact on Parent-Child Relationship
Sometimes the quality of your relationship with your child is impacted as you struggle to be fully present and engaged with your child. If you become preoccupied with your worries, then you may appear to be emotionally unavailable and distant; missing out on being in the moment with your child. Although children are resilient, it benefits them to have parents who are actively engaged with them. Even if you were to miss out on being present with your child, every minute moving forward is another opportunity to repair and attend to your child.
Strategies for Managing Parental Anxiety
Self-care becomes even more important when you are a parent. If you’re running on empty, how can you continue to care for your child? At times, it may be difficult to find the time for self-care but five minutes is better than zero minutes. Self-care should be look at as things you engage in that gives you energy or relaxes you. This means, scrolling through social media would not necessarily be the ideal choice of a self-care activity. Sometimes talking to and seeking support from friends, family and mental health professionals can be helpful.
Set Realistic Expectations
I’m sorry to say but you can’t be Wonder Woman. Wonder Woman is a comic book character created by a man. And you can’t be Superman because Superman is from another planet. Therefore, it’s necessary to set realistic expectations for yourself. You will not be able to do everything when it comes to parenting. If you try, it will only lead to more anxiety, frustration and disappointment. It’s okay to ask for help or even take a break when needed. In addition, you can’t do everything for your child. It’s important for you to teach your child how to do things and then let them practice doing it. This develops confidence and a sense of agency within your child. Something as simple as teaching your child how to pick up after themselves as early as 2 years old, can help develop a more competent and independent child.
Find a Balance
Finding balance means being intentional when you’re struggling with parenting and trying to manage your anxiety. Being compassionate towards yourself goes a long way in alleviating some of the worry and stress. Focusing on what you are able to do rather than the negatives can help you to relieve frustrations and build confidence.
Judy Wang, LCPC, CPC provides online telehealth therapy in Nevada and Maryland. She works with adolescents and adults who are struggling with OCD, anxiety, and trauma.