Perfectionism and Embracing Imperfection
Perfectionism and Signs of Perfectionism
Perfectionism is the tendency to set unrealistic standards and demands on yourself and others. This can lead to harsh self-criticism for perceived failures and shortcomings which negatively impact your mental health. The negative impact includes but isn’t limited to stress, anxiety, self-doubt and low self-esteem. Some signs of perfectionism include a critical inner voice, a fear of failure or making a mistake, difficulty asking for help and procrastination.
Embracing imperfection
Unfortunately, perfectionism is unattainable because it’s based off of subjective opinions. Everybody has a different opinion about things because the opinions are influenced by personal feelings and experiences. Even with yourself, you may have a standard that you want to reach and if you do attain that standard, it will still not be good enough because perfectionism demands you can do better and more. This only leads to frustration, disappointment and mental health struggles. Therefore, it’s important to actually embrace your imperfection and recognize your uniqueness. When you do this, you can create a greater sense of authenticity and self-acceptance.
Challenging Perfectionistic Tendencies
How can you challenge your perfectionistic tendencies? One of the things is to look at your thoughts and try to reframe them to be more realistic. Unfortunately, perfectionism develops unhelpful thought patterns so it’s important to re-evaluate these thoughts and counter them. You must learn to accept that making mistakes is a part of life and an opportunity for growth. As you encounter situations where your perfectionistic tendencies arise, take a moment to reframe these thoughts.
Cultivating Self Compassion and Self-Acceptance
Perfectionism leads to self-criticism, therefore it’s important to exercise self-compassion. Self-compassion means being kind to yourself when you encounter times of failure or when you feel inadequate. One of the ways to do this, is to ask if the criticism you direct towards yourself for not being perfect, is the same that you would direct towards a love one. If not, then what you say to your love one, you need to start saying to yourself. During these times, it’s important to treat yourself with kindness and understanding.
In addition, practicing self-acceptance can help to work against your perfectionistic tendencies. Self-acceptance means accepting your uniqueness, the positives and negatives. It means when your critical inner voice comes up, acknowledge it, thank it for visiting and then move on. It won’t happen overnight but with practice, your perfectionistic tendencies will lessen.
Seeking Support and Guidance
Sometimes you need more support. Seeking a mental health professional can help alleviate your stress and anxiety that perfectionism causes. A therapist can help you develop strategies to counter your perfectionism and develop a healthier relationship with yourself. Contact me for more information.
Judy Wang, LCPC, CPC provides online therapy services in the states of Nevada and Maryland. She works with adults and teenagers who need are struggling with trauma, OCD and anxiety.